Change Happens When…

Life is full of pain. It’s just the nature of living. The important thing to remember is that pain is a sign that something needs to change. Whether in your personal life, your business, or your physical being, pain is life’s way of trying to get you to wake up to the need for change or to something bigger that needs your attention.

One of the quotes that has gotten me through a lot in my life is this one by Tony Robbins:

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

There’s a lot to unpack with this, but if there is someone who understands the true impact of this statement, it’s me. And I’m willing to bet there are more of you out there who understand as well.

The Pain Of Staying The Same

When I finally realized that I had to change, it was while locked up in prison. I had realized that if I kept doing the same things over and over again I would never get to see my son. What’s more, I realized that I would never be able to be someone he could look up to.

I had been doing the same things – hurting myself, others, my own family – for years without stopping to think about how much harm I was doing. And even if I never admitted it to myself, I was hurting. I was in so much pain that I believed that it was just what I deserved.

When you find yourself looking at the pain around you as if it’s something you think you deserve, it’s time to listen to the message it is trying to send you. You don’t deserve the pain – it’s just time to make changes to what you are doing. And that’s usually more difficult and more frightening than dealing with pain that you have gotten used to.

The Pain Of Change

Change is hard. More importantly, it’s hard to start. Pain comes at us in many forms, and while it might seem obvious in most forms it is important to remember it can also mean anxiety and fear.

The hardest part might just be self-reflection for many of us. For me, it was realizing something that has led to all of my success since that time in my life.

I was the cause of my own misery, my own pain, and my own failings. There was no one else to blame. I could no longer blame the system, my economic status, or the other people in my life. It was my own fault that I was feeling that pain so fiercely.

It was understanding that that allowed me to face that pain, overcome it, and take charge of my future. The future where I get to help so many people live better lives, find more success, and avoid the pain that I had to go through to learn these lessons.

Change isn’t easy, though. It starts with understanding that you need to change. But after that you have to start looking in the mirror and realizing what you need to change. You might find that things you thought were core parts of your identity were actually hurting you and holding you back all this time, for example.

Then, you still have to come up with a plan to enact this change. It’s not always easy.

How Do I Make Change?

This is going to sound a little simple, but bear with me. Change is simply a state of mind. First, you have to change your thoughts – your thoughts are going to shape everything else. Then you need to change the way you feel – learn to find happiness in the changes you make.

Taking care of the mental aspects of change is a good start, but then you need to bring those changes to the physical world. You need to change the way you act – promising to do better is not enough, you need to actually do better.

Once you have worked through all of these aspects of change, you are going to find that the results of your thoughts and feelings have positively shaped how you act. And once you change how you act, you can find success in whatever you want to accomplish.

Weldon Long is a renowned speaker, motivator, author, and business success coach. Sign up for our invaluable online training or book him to speak at your next event.